The rational person seeks wisdom everywhere, in every moment of life. Truth, insight, and self-knowledge are hidden in each experience, yet they are not always noticed or understood. The greatest lesson available is the lesson of life itself. Life teaches constantly, but attention, openness, and willingness to learn are often missing. This is where memories become invaluable. The real events lived over time shape personality, identity, and character. Through this unique combination of experiences and memories, each human being becomes one of a kind.
Fear often has deep roots in childhood. Many fears appear very early, when parents use imaginary threats to secure obedience and calm. This can be called an initial fear, to which the first doubts and insecurities are added. It is paradoxical that the first teachers in life, the parents, genuinely wish for well-being, yet sometimes, for their own comfort or out of helplessness, resort to lies. The first big lie might sound like this: if there is no good behavior, the dark man comes and takes the child away, or if all the food is not eaten, growth will not happen. These examples may seem exaggerated, yet this is how a memory is recorded as a bad memory, and from there protective habits are built against a perceived threat. From that moment on, an inner framework is created for respecting rules and striving to be good.
There are countless memories that do not appear in everyday awareness and are labeled as forgotten. In reality, they are not truly forgotten; they are carefully stored in the inner archive of the subconscious mind. They are simply not brought under the light of rational investigation. The subconscious, however, keeps them active and uses them as silent reference points. As discussed earlier, the subconscious performs almost all inner work, subtly influencing emotions, reactions, behavior patterns, and automatic decisions.
Memories guide life indirectly because they project the future. The future is not shaped only by current decisions, but by the person who makes those decisions. That is why the past defines the future. More precisely, the past has formed the characteristics, beliefs, and patterns used in decision-making, so the next decision will usually follow these familiar tracks recorded in memory. However, the future can change the moment the relationship with the past changes. Every decision becomes part of a new past, and if a decision steps outside previous parameters, the future becomes more open, more flexible, and less predictable.
The past can be transformed at any time on an inner level. For this, self-knowledge is essential: becoming familiar with the past, reactivating good and bad memories, and understanding what they meant, how each memory changed inner life, how development unfolded afterward, and how these memories can now be reinterpreted, healed, or further developed into new sources of strength, clarity, and emotional resilience.
The magic of memories
The power of positive memories
Memories can be both good and bad, but positive memories have a special kind of power. They give energy, change mood, and fill life with joy, respect, confidence, and inner strength. As an example from a film rich in wisdom, in Harry Potter the spell expecto patronum is based on a strong, happy memory. The magic works by focusing on a powerful moment of happiness and then invoking the spell. The result is a bright, protective wave that drives away negativity and offers protection.
This kind of “magic” can be used in real life. By consciously returning to a memory that brought genuine happiness, it becomes possible to push away negative thoughts and emotions. The key is to surrender completely to that memory, letting go of every other thought and allowing the mind to float in the details of the experience.
Reliving memories with all the senses
A simple example might be the first time riding a bike. The memory appears like an aura: the image of looking at the handlebars, the movement of the pedals, the wind hitting the face, the effort needed to move forward. To unlock the full power of this memory, every detail needs to be activated and brought back to life.
It helps to recall:
The body also stores every sensation. Muscle tension, the rhythm of pedaling, the flexion of the knees, even the slight scratch of the helmet can be remembered. Feeling these details physically allows the memory to unfold completely and work its “magic” on the mind and emotions.
Studying memories to understand identity and future
Memories need to be explored continuously. Through regular reflection and inner work, hidden details rise to the surface and become clear. By studying the entire personal past, it becomes possible to understand identity, what truly defines a person, and why certain experiences have such a strong influence.
At that point, it becomes clear that the future is a matter of choice. The current direction of life can be seen more objectively. It may be satisfying or it may not, but awareness of memories and their meaning offers the opportunity to change course at any time and consciously shape the future.
No matter how simple it may seem, using memories in a conscious and healthy way is not easy. It requires patience, perseverance and constant self-analysis, both of the positive and the negative. When the past is studied excessively, there is a risk of forgetting the present, rejecting it or making hasty decisions. That is why it is recommended to walk the path of memories with balance, deliberately searching for both positive and negative memories. Each memory is numbered and analyzed, regardless of its nature. The way it helps, the way it has changed the inner world, the energy that positive memories offer and the weight that negative memories add are all observed, including the reasons why certain experiences led to the decision to never repeat a particular action.
Memories represent the essence of consciousness and a fundamental part of personal identity. When they are not accessed, reflected upon or brought into awareness, the dust of oblivion settles over them and it becomes increasingly difficult to bring them back to light and use them. Their true role is to be understood, to be learned from and to be used as inner resources for growth, healing and personal development.
Memories can become powerful energetic tools, authentic sources of self-respect and self-confidence. When difficult situations have been faced with courage and success, the lessons contained in those experiences become reference points that must never be forgotten. They support inner strength, resilience and the ability to move forward even in challenging times.
Reliving a memory emotionally is completely different from understanding the lesson hidden within it. Emotional immersion keeps the experience alive, while conscious understanding transforms the memory into wisdom, guidance and clarity for future decisions.
When personal emotional baggage begins to be analyzed, it is often discovered that negative memories are the most clearly outlined. The body and mind, in their complexity, try to bring them to the forefront in order to protect and help avoid similar situations in the future. A common mistake is to remain trapped in the negative emotional state of the memory instead of exploring its benefits. The focus shifts to what has been learned, how much strength has been gained, how the situation has been overcome, how the inner fight has been carried out and how recovery has taken place. Even in a negative memory there are positive aspects, because no memory is useless. Each one exists with a purpose: to reveal something essential about the self.
A detached perspective is needed in relation to the negative side and suffering. The analysis begins with reasoning, decisions, mistakes and context, and only then moves on to emotions. Events are viewed through the lens of inner strength and adaptability. The conclusion becomes clear: it was difficult, but it was possible to succeed because there is adaptability, resourcefulness, patience and a strong survival instinct. External opinions lose their importance when inner identity is known and assumed with clarity.
Erased or forgotten memories – part I -
Why negative memories feel stronger than positive ones
In the mind, the most intense memories are usually recorded much more strongly. This happens because they are often linked to fears, danger, and survival, and are reinforced through avoidance patterns. Negative memories seem stronger precisely for this reason. They are revisited more often, analyzed repeatedly, and associated with protective behaviors.
Positive memories, on the other hand, are rarely revisited with the same intensity. Activities that once brought joy are not consciously recalled as often, and no deliberate habits are built to remember what created happiness. Even when the same joyful activity is repeated, over time it can lose its sparkle and turn into something ordinary. The original reason for doing it is forgotten because there is no perceived danger in forgetting happiness.
This imbalance in how memories are stored and recalled explains why negative thinking and a depressive predisposition can appear. The mind records what is negative and lets what is positive fade into the background. When everything is added up, there is a clear, heavy negative baggage and a positive baggage hidden in the fog, vague and uncertain, as if it was there, as if there was joy in doing this or that. From here comes the question: what brings joy, satisfaction, and happiness?
This is an attempt to restore balance without considering that many sources of happiness are already known, but are now avoided or postponed. Excuses appear more easily than actions. Comfort demands sacrifices and often steals from happiness. Comfort is not the same as happiness.
Example: childhood games and lost joy
A simple example is playing ball games in childhood. There was no comfort then, only movement, play, and happiness. Later, the memory becomes harder to access for various reasons:
Friends may choose comfort, consider play as nonsense, and encourage a passive state. It can be interpreted as if they have reached an age where they no longer feel the need for happiness. Yet the decision that brings the greatest long-term benefit is the one that can be told later in life with a sense of meaning: the decision to do something, to act, to choose joy over inertia.
Friends, change, and the walls built over time
Another important question concerns the presence of the right friends. Responsibility does not lie entirely with others. At some point, socializing may have stopped. Invisible walls were built, preventing others from truly getting to know the person behind them. New people were no longer welcomed into life.
This reaction can seem natural after negative experiences, disappointments, and inevitable betrayals. However, it is also a limiting way of thinking. All beings change over time. If change is constant, how can it be assumed that new experiences will always repeat old patterns? Or that people who have changed will remain identical to who they once were?
People change for better and for worse. For a long time, there may have been no expectation that they could change for the worse. When a friend appears to have betrayed, in reality that person may have simply followed personal interests. There was no oath or signed contract. When a friend disappoints, makes mistakes, and causes problems that affect others, it is part of the human condition.
Mistakes, consequences, and the end of some friendships
Everyone makes mistakes. They do, and so does everyone else. When a friend makes mistakes and others suffer some of the consequences, it can be seen as something almost normal within a friendship. Instead, the reaction may be to respond with dignity, assume the consequences, pay the debt, and then quietly erase the phone number of the friend considered responsible for the situation.
Hyperglycemia, i.e. increased glucose concentration in the blood and urine (glycosuria) above normal limits. Daily insulin doses can be reduced after long-term treatment with medicinal plants or teas only after medical laboratory tests have been performed.
Plants with weakly alkaline, anti-inflammatory, healing and soothing active principles are recommended. Infusions and decoctions are usually drunk unsweetened and preferably between meals.
Headaches with digestive and sensory disturbances
Mistletoe (Viscum album): a sacred plant in ancient cultures
Among many ancient peoples, and especially among the Druids, mistletoe (Viscum album) was revered as a sacred plant. The presence of this evergreen shrub on trees was interpreted as a sign from the gods, and the bird that circled around it was considered a messenger from heaven. Ceremonies...
Erased or forgotten memories – part II -
Change, relationships and emotional memory
The reasoning could go on indefinitely, but the idea is simple. There is a hidden request for the world to remain constant, to stay the same, to never change. This expectation is projected onto a reality that is defined by permanent change, emotional evolution and continuous transformation. The mismatch between this desire for stability and the natural flow of life leads to disappointment and inner conflict. The responsibility for this illusion belongs to the one who created it. It is assumed, forgiven and then corrected step by step.
Fear of change and blocking social connections
From this fear of change often comes the decision to block socializing and to avoid meeting new people. Close friends gradually become simple acquaintances, treated with distance and caution. Personal details are carefully hidden so they cannot be used to cause pain. And yet, deep down, there is still the desire to have authentic friends, people around with whom it feels good and safe.
At the same time, there is a tendency to exclude friendships that involve being together for better and for worse. The preference is to share only the pleasant moments. When problems appear, the instinct is to rely exclusively on oneself, and others do the same. It may seem honorable and independent, but it lacks perspective. Every new friend accepted into life requires a small adaptation, an inner effort to grow and become better. True change means adaptation, and giving up adaptation means giving up growth, connection and new shared memories.
The power of shared memories
Any memory shared with someone with whom life has been lived side by side is something almost magical. A part of one person’s essence and a part of the other’s essence become common ground, a shared inner space. Memories shape identity, define what a person is and who a person is. Shared experiences, emotional bonds and common stories create a living archive of erased or forgotten memories that can be rediscovered, healed and integrated over time.
Memories that are never forgotten
Grief, loss and the power of lasting memories
The loss of loved ones and close friends is one of the most painful experiences in life, yet it is deeply connected to the way memories are created and preserved. Loved ones do not truly disappear; they continue to live on in memories exactly as they were. They never leave as long as the shared moments, stories and emotions are not forgotten. Commemorations and rituals of remembrance exist for this reason: to honor, remember and keep alive what was once shared. The absence of loved ones means that no new memories can be added, but the memories already formed remain in the heart and cannot be erased.
Isolation, friendship and coping with loss
The pain of loss often becomes much more intense when there is isolation. Imagine a simple, almost mathematical example: someone loses a good friend and has only four close friends in total. Losing one of them feels overwhelming. If, instead, there were thirty good friends, the loss, while still painful, would not be experienced with the same crushing intensity. This is not only about numbers, but about shared memories and shared support. When love and affection are spread among many people, each individual loss affects the heart differently. Shared suffering, shared stories and shared memories help the healing process and make it easier to move forward.
When the circle of friends shrinks from four to three, it can feel like losing 25% of the emotional world and of the inner “team”. This can trigger dark, negative thoughts about how little is left and how quickly everything might end, casting a shadow over life. The consequence of long-term isolation is that, in trying to avoid suffering and disappointment, the paths to connection and love are gradually closed. Loving less and protecting the heart too much can make every loss feel as if it takes away a part of the soul, instead of simply taking away one chapter from a much richer story built over time.
Creating new memories and opening up to new relationships
Beautiful, meaningful memories are almost always built together with other people. They do not have to be the same people throughout life, but it is essential to make an effort to develop new relationships in order to create new shared experiences. No one is forced to do this, yet it helps to lower rigid expectations, release pressure and allow different kinds of people to become friends, while at the same time making a conscious effort to be a good friend in return.
Love, attachment and a heart full of connections
Love can be a powerful way to heal grief and transform loss into lasting, positive memories. It helps to love as much as possible and, if possible, as many beings as possible. These can be people, pets or even trees and nature that become silent companions in everyday life. What truly matters is a soul and heart filled with love, not love focused exclusively on a single person. When all emotional energy is concentrated on one person, it easily turns into dependence rather than a balanced, nurturing connection. A heart that loves widely has more strength to endure loss and more capacity to create new memories that are never forgotten.